You Gotta Be Strong!

 

Recently, I perused “Fakebook” and stumbled across a post from a woman who cried out for help, stating she was having a mental breakdown followed by several sad emojis.  Immediately I responded with a website where she could get help and I “asked” her to do so.  I concluded my post with the admission that I too, suffered from a severe mental breakdown and that my getting and maintaining help was the best choice, I could have made for myself.  The word, ask, is in quotations because through all of my trials and tribulations, I’ve learned that people don’t often want advice.  And, we don’t know what they want or need until we ask.  They may want compassion, an ear or someone to identify with what they are saying.  It is dangerous to assume.

 

After supplying my information, I perused other answers.  I was relieved, some people offered immediate help like call 211—an option I was unaware of—and other websites.  I then stumbled across a post that truly saddened me.  The post, although I hope was not meant to be received this way, seemed insensitive and lacked compassion.  I assume the poster is not more than a Facebook friend, otherwise this advice might have been issued privately, or at least should have been.  He said and I quote, “Stop all that tryna be more, do more, striving for excellence bs.  You are enough.” And to add insult to injury, this brother concluded with, “Relax.”  My blood pressure shot to the roof.  When my blood pressure resumed normalcy, I crafted the following reply: Only if it were that easy… This advice serves no one, especially in the eye of the storm. Others posted strong arm emojis and the ever so popular, “Jesus will fix it!”

 

I don’t know everything.  I don’t know a lot.  People respond within their wheelhouse, so please listen to another point of view from an insider.  Receive this information with love.  Telling someone whose going through a tribulation to be strong, relax and stop trying to be something you’re not is not helping, but hindering.  Know that if it were just about being strong and to relax, we would be.  You think we want to mentally break down?  Trust us.  If we could stop this madness, we would.  When someone cries out, first of all believe them, it’s usually because they need help. Please think about inferring that one is weak.  Yes, that’s what you also instruct with the “be strong” mantra.  Trust me.  If we could, we would.  If you need or want help, get help.  Let’s cease shaming and ignoring professional help such as therapeutic services.  Like God made butchers, bakers and candle stick makers, God also made, psychologists, psychiatrists and others in the medical profession.  #FuelingThought