Friday, July 11, 2014

Stop Complaining And Do Something...

Stop Complaining and do something....was the message I got when I was Blessed with a cataclysmic shift in my life.

For the past ten years or so, I found myself complaining about one thing after another: my circumstances, my job, my marriage, my career....  A pity party wasn't in question, I had taken a 30year fixed rate mortgage on it--PITY.  And I lived happily ever after in the complaint.

Then one day, a friend suggested a Joyce Meyer thought....You can't be powerful and pitiful at the same time....It's one or the other.  That thought shifted me instantly.  Sure I shifted kicking and screaming, and on occasion slid/slide back.  However, I revisit that thought daily---it helps to renew my mind.

I have a friend whose Pity Party mortgage I've contributed to for about twelve plus years.  And while she remains a friend; she has a heart of gold, she's chosen to mortgage a 30 year fixed rate in Pity.  As she tried to explain why she has no choice to get the things she really wants ( I disagree) I encouraged her to own it, just as I was encouraged.  OWN IT.  If you don't believe, own it.  If you're stuck, OWN IT.  If you choose paying your bills over extra treats for yourself, OWN IT and don't expect a cookie for doing the right things.  In other words, you can't be powerful and pitiful at the same time.

Today I encountered another friend on Facebook.  She's had a hard way to go on her job lately and posted a sentiment thanking a competitor and expressed a wish that she worked for them.  I answered her sentiment with a "No shade, not being facetious but they are hiring..."  I was immediately hit with a "NOBODY wants to start over Toni...." from one of her Facebook friends.  My friend asked for forgiveness for her friend who unnecessarily directed an aggressive comment toward me.  I don't take it personally because obviously the person is frustrated in his own right.  I deflected his aggression with, "...I offered my comment in love and encouragement." 

What I really gleaned from the exchange is that WE often complain about situations and circumstances we can change.  Change doesn't reflect perfection.  Sometimes change reflects a better situation just because the current situation is unbearable.  Other times, change is just that...change.

98% of what we complain about, we can change.  And if we can't change the circumstances we certainly can change our perceptions of the circumstances which often lead to change in itself.

This is Toni Staton Harris Checkin' Up and Checkin' In on your thoughts about complaints and change.


  1. Good points Toni Staton Harris. Some points may sting some but hurt comes before healing. Change starts from the INside. #onpoint

  2. I so agree Toni! I used to tell my friends on the job - don't keep telling me about it -if you aren't going to do anything about it!!