Thursday, October 23, 2014

THE CANDLE SERIES: Collateral Damage

When one candle lights another, it doesn't lose any of its power, in fact power is intensified~ Unknown

This week I've invited guest blogger, Patricia Haley to share her beautiful take on what Collateral Damage really means to her.  This post is taken directly from an entry she shared with us on Facebook 9/12/14 and is reproduced with her permission.

Patricia Haley

Collateral damage is unintended damage caused by a particular operative or action. Although generally utilized in military activities, it can also be used metaphorically with personal transformation.

When we realize our footsteps are ordered and are compelled to discard the layers that have been building up through our lives, there will be collateral damage. We will lose some or most of what we've known to gain clarity and perspective. That very well could mean: A fixed way of being, friends, possessions, and other things which may fall by the wayside. I'm not speaking about turning inward and being disconnected to others; in fact, the more you understand your connection to the human condition, your projectile should point outward.

Keep in mind this is not a classist statement... 

 ... nor is it intended to create an invisible hierarchy of a so called super race. Be very clear people are at different levels in their lives.  If we prescribe to the notion to only be with people on 'our level' (whatever that means), then at that point we are being prideful and arrogant, which will lead to us not having anyone, and frankly, we may end up on the short end of the stick more often than not. 

People falling off during collateral damage also doesn't mean the person is "hating" on you. The term hater is a strange concept and is generally not going down the way people use the word. In truth, it usually means one of two things: The so called "hater" is generally unhappy with themselves and it naturally and most times unintentionally reflects outward, or the alleged "hated on" is delusional and probably is doing something annoying as hell, but I digress.

When I speak about collateral damage, it's a bittersweet event that occurs when we become clear about our purpose, or at least TRYING to gain clarity-- and that means toward others as well as ourselves.   In the midst of this clarity, we gain other sources and resources which will assist in the transition, causing us to to box out some of our original thought processes. 

 During this time, friends may or may not like who you are transforming into.  Your mind works in overdrive to extricate many things previously considered absolute.  What was originally of value to you may seem redundant. This is what is meant by collateral damage. However, this is necessary to be in tune to who we are as it relates to being metaphysically relating to one another. A beautiful dance. Energy. Frequency. Vibration.

Now that's a real reason to say 'Turn Down For What?'


Patricia Haley is a writer, public speaking consultant, and human resources professional.  Public speaking credits include BWRC (Black Writers Reunion and Conference) 2008-2012.  Her first novel, Terra Firma is scheduled for publication in the second quarter of 2015.  For further information, please contact

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