Thursday, August 27, 2015

17 Years and Counting! A Long-Lasting Marriage

17th Wedding Anniversary

8/27/15 marks the seventeenth (17th) anniversary of marriage to an absolutely wonderful God-Fearing Man, my hero, my homey Injeel Harris.  I want to share some thoughts with you.

A line in one of my favorite most recent movies Baggage Claim sums up seventeen years filled with love, power, history, stress, triumphs, trials and tribulations... "The magic is not in the getting married, [the magic] is in the staying married..."~William played by Derek Luke

As a scribe and with the ability to write magical glowing words to describe anything, I sometimes grapple with "keeping it real" to tell the whole story, not just the glowing parts.  So as I contemplated what I would say publicly to my husband and about our marriage; I took careful consideration.  A friend calling to wish me Happy Anniversary dropped intense wisdom on what the celebration is and what it means.  She reminded me that what we're celebrating is the staying together.  The "GOOD" is in the staying together and the good in the marriage doesn't always look like what we expect it to look like.  

The good in the marriage is that through our history, trials and tribulations, triumphs and defeat we've chosen to close the back door meaning divorce.  The good is that we make that choice to keep the back door closed every day and every day, as of today the Harrises have made that choice for seventeen years. That's what we're celebrating.

I don't want to say that marriage is hard work, but truthfully it is.  You grow in and out of love on the regular.  But one day you figure out with all of your flaws, insecurities and humanity, you truly love each other and that you're not perfect for each other, you're perfect for each other because your highest power deemed that one just for you.  

To all those about to embark on this journey with the one you love, I say this: If you haven't contemplated joy coupled with sacrifice and compromise throughout this journey... After the cake has been shoved in each other's face or savored on each tongue--told you I can make anything glowing--and the champagne is sipped; run to the nearest divorce attorney before you board the plane to the honeymoon.   Without that realization, realize that you are entering a house with the back door left wide open every day of your lives together.

Thank you cousins Katie and Allen Prestwood for that wonderful advice you shared with us 17 years ago... The Back Door is closed!

To my love and amazing partner Injeel, "Don't think it hasn't been fabulous!"  What show? (inside reminder)


  1. That was simply wonderful! Thank you for that. Happy Anniversary xoxo ;)

  2. I love your transparency! !! We can all learn from your truth and honesty. The back door is closed!!!

  3. I love your transparency! !! We can all learn from your truth and honesty. The back door is closed!!!

  4. Great post! Wishing you and Injeel many more years of love and celebration. <3

  5. Hi Ms Toni!! Let me start by saying Happy Anniversary to you and Injeel. I pray God blesses you guys with 17x17 more years. I love "the back door is closed". I tried to post on your blog but for some reason couldn't so I'm commenting here (I think I had this problem once before). As usual, your words have jumped off the page and spoken to my spirit. You have such a way with words. Thank you for always being so transparent.

  6. Luv it! Congratulations to the Harris'