Saturday, August 29, 2015

Survivor's Remorse: The ReCap "You Punched The Money"

"You Punched The Money".  The classic line for the evening came from Mama Cassie Calloway, ferociously funny played by Tichina Arnold.  Cassie is truly the Calloway's secret weapon.

Episode 2 opens with the new "butler" asking cousin Reggie for an eleven thousand dollar advance, a quarter of his salary to help his ailing mother who'd just fallen from a get-a-way rolling luggage cart at the airport.  Reggie offers as much empathy as he possible can, but sorry, Bro "a three-thousand dollar advance is our limit."  New butler man rolls away grateful for any help offered.

Coca-Cola courts Cam Calloway by placing a complimentary vending machine of Coke products in the house.  Cam thinks the family is too flippant with the abundant blessings around and about the house and urges the family to be more mindful.  Cam makes the family pay fifty cents (.50) per can with plans to donate the proceeds to charity.

The Calloways
Survivor's Remorse
Starz 9pm Saturdays
That'll teach the Calloways to be ungrateful or so Cam thinks, until he gets a whiff of hurricane M-Chuck.  Incensed by a demand for fifty cents, Sister M-Chuck lands a right hook on Reggie's eye-socket that puts him out of the game for at least six (6) of the regular season.  M-Chuck vs. Mayweather can't be far behind and my money is on M-Chuck.  Reggie calls for the team doctor to come to the house to patch Cam up.  Reggie also urges Cam and M-Chuck to get their lies together because along with the doctor, the team owner is going to want an explanation.  I guess the new mantra and mission statement of not lying will kick in around, episode... 3?

M-Chuck (Mary Charles)  Erica Ash

The owner suspects the Calloways of lying.  The lie is proven so when Cam during a press conference exacts his concocted story about slipping on marble floors due to spilled coca-cola.  But new butler man has something sinister in mind.  New butler man teaches Reggie and the Calloways not to mess with him and his mama, when he leaks video to the press about what really happened at Calloway Castle.  But get this, footage is shown during Cam's press conference just as the lies escape his tongue.

In the meanwhile, Uncle Julius safely at home contends with a neighbor who walks his dog, the size of a horse and allows the dog to leave a mountain size of stained poop at the edged of the castle's gated community cobblestone.  When the neighbor persists, Uncle Julius buys dog repellent.  He empties the can at the edge of the driveway, so much so the dog dies.  We're sure to see remnants of this mishap in the future.

After the footage is leaked, Cam's footwear sponsor travels to Atlanta to announce he's canceling Cam's deal.  The Chinese frown upon domestic violence especially perpetrated from a woman to a man.  Mama Cassie literally slaps CEO Bao, the sneaker guru straight.  Mama Cassie might trouble on her hands trying to get rid of Bao's warped newfounded admiration.

The Calloways are far from out of hot water.  The new DA wants to make a case out of no case by making an example of M-Chuck as the new face of domestic violence--women on men.  M-Chuck gets away with a substantial fine and hefty community service hours--hours that would make Lindsey Lohan take the jail time.  The real kicker comes from the public service announcement, Cam, M-Chuck, the team owner and a host of other clowns straight from the school of Roger Goodell's playbook.

Ultimately, the dog is dead, M-Chuck punched the money and is remorseful, the new butler man is out and the Calloways are ready to get themselves into and out more shenanigans next week.  I can't wait.

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