Practice What You Preach!

Today I concluded an important mini-fast.  I use adjective mini because it lasted (as it was planned) for  15 hours.  I wanted to prep for a new journey, take on a new direction and rid my space of self-imposed obstacles that are holding me back.  During my last few weeks of reflection, I got it.  I must streamline toward my God driven purpose.  What I know today is that I’ve distinguished my purpose from my hobby.  My purpose is to write, to author, to lead and to mentor.  How I do that, in exactly which medium is still being worked out, but I know I am to write.  With that being said, I’ve also determined that while I immensely enjoy wine, it is not my purpose.  It may be a passion but more importantly it is my hobby.  

Available through Kindle, Nook, & your favorite E-Reader

 

 

 Armed with that knowledge, I’ve enrolled in school, chosen to take my wine business to a minimum and committed to writing as my purpose and my main occupation.  I am sure this stance will evolve.  For now, this is the road I am traveling on.

From This To THIS!

In 3 days Help! My Best Friend Just Got Married, Can We Be Friends drops onto your Nook, Kindle, Ipads and other Ereaders.  I am excited.  I’ve also experienced a few bumps in the road that has left me exhausted. 

Recently I spoke with a colleague who examined the possibilities of writing her mother’s life story.  She had encouraged her mother to do so but her mother was disinterested.  She however expressed a dire need to get this story out because her mother’s life is so compelling.  While I encouraged her to do so—if it truly is her passion to write—I had to be honest.  90% of writing is re-writing and if you are not passionate about the writing, I doubt you’ll finish.  This talk is different from any advisement I may have given in the past.  And while it is never my intention to be discouraging, I no longer encourage people in my craft that are not passionate about the craft.

Writing is one of my greatest joys.  I cannot, not write.  However writing, while for some comes with ease, is not necessarily easy.  It can be a financially lucrative for some but not for many.  A lot of factors, just as in any vocation, come into play when reaping financial rewards; timing, subject matter, trend, exposure, contact and a host of other stars must align for success.  And what is success? 

Success is defined and can be in as many ways as there are people.  For me success begins with getting it on the page.  Success is a journey with pitstop destinations along the way.  Success is going from This….

Edited Manuscript

 

 

to THIS….

 

It’s not easy but it’s worth it!

Thanks for Sharing My journey…..3 days and counting….

From The Bottom Up,

 

Toni

She's Almost Here! 1pd. 5oz.

On August 25, 2012 I become an author Again! 

Giving life to a project whether it be a book, a record, a play, a building, a business or any project that has been placed in the seat of your soul, is much like giving birth to a baby.  The process is identical to birth.  You are impregnated with an idea and it takes a considerable amount of time to feed and nurture.  Now unlike a baby, a project has no set amount of time feeding and nurturing takes to cause birth.  But when the birth occurs, I imagine, like giving birth to a baby, the same overwhelming relief of what can be a painful process can occur to produce life’s incomparable joy. 

This is exactly how I’m feeling with the release of my third book.  Like with an infant, I hold some anxiety, hoping the book will do what it is purposed to do, be what it is purposed to be.  Of course I hope it will provide freedom and clarity for someone—yes I hope it helps.  However, whatever this book does for someone else, for me it makes me an Author again!  It feels so good….Here We Grow Again, we’ve grown and you’re next…..

Here’s a sonogram of my baby!  She’s so Cute!

5 days to go before she’s here!

From The Bottom Up,

Toni

Call A Thing A Thing!

Iyanla Vanzant teaches us to Call A Thing, A Thing!  She says by naming whatever it is, what it truly is, you serve you and it with freedom, truth and release.  In the case of Help! My Best Friend Just Got Married, Can We Still Be Friends?, Calling a thing a thing simply means that one must apply the correct label of a relationship to bring that relationship and intent to righteousness.

When we don’t know what to call a relationship, we often smack the label “friend” on it.  This careless act misleads all involved and attempts to deceive purpose and intention; the core of any relationship.  Plainly put, are you really friends or are you someThing else?  Are you lovers, ex-lovers, mates, ex-spouses, estranged spouses, potential mates, or prospects?  Ask and answer of yourself what are we?  Correctly labeling a relationship brings clarity.  And in an already muddled situation, clarity, intention and purpose are key to maintaining healthy platonic relationships.

The following is an excerpt from the soon to be released, Help My Best Friend Just Got Married, Can We Still Be Friends?:

*Call a Thing a Thing!

I borrowed this term from Iyanla Vanzant who teaches us to call whatever it is, whatever it is. The term friend is often overused or used too casually. I believe on occasions and when it’s convenient, people label their relationship with the term friend when it’s anything but. Be honest, are you really friends or are you lovers, ex-lovers, ex-spouses or an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend? 

Mislabeling causes lying. When you mislabel, you’re lying to yourself, everybody else or all involved. Jocelyn and Eric, both married, started out as “friends.” Although not related, they met at a family reunion and found out their families were as close as blood relatives. There was an obvious attraction between the two and both were in vulnerable states of their marriages. Well, that friendship turned into a “lustship” and the two became scandalously intimate. After about a year, the two chose to work things out with their respective spouses, but remained in connection under the guise of friendship and extended family relationships. The truth of the matter is that now, after the fact, the two are not friends, never were. And if they are to rebuild and maintain integrity in their marriages, they’re better off disconnecting and remaining that way. “…But our families are connected, we’re friends…” Eric reasoned. Sorry Eric, you two forfeited any semblance of friendship when you became intimate.

Now, I’m not saying that it’s impossible for ex-lovers to be friends. Although rare, ex-lovers can become friends again. However, a true friendship between exes requires a thoughtful, intuitive journey, and deserves another book entirely. Ask and honestly answer, are you two really friends or masking other desires?

Pucker up and kiss it good-bye, Eric!~Miss Knowitall!

8 days  and counting…..to  Help! My Best Friend Just Got Married, Can We Still Be Friends?

From The Bottom Up,

Toni 

A Day To Read, A Lifetime to Write

The Journey of Help My Best Friend Just Got Married, Can We Still Be Friends?

Especially after reading Nothing Special…Just Friends?, the cousin of Help!... readers consistently approach me with questions like, when is the next book coming out?  I’ve decided to answer the question—before it is asked—why did it take you so long? 

Don’t get me wrong, in the immortal words of Cousin Malcolm (Jumping The Broom) I write ‘ere day but there has been a considerable amount of time between published novels from me.  I admit that I too have been disappointed with my timing.  While I offer no excuses, I do say what may take you a day to read rarely takes a day to write.  Add the facts that every part of the process is reliant upon the artist, thus the independent label, factor in other life roles, wife, auntie, sister, friend among others and a full time sky girl to pop your coke.

I know you get it, we’re all busy and I am grateful that you choose to spend your leisure time and dollars with me.  However to answer your question, the average reader reads about 90,000 words in three to seven days.  The avid reader reads that same word count anywhere from eight to 20 consecutive hours and five for the power reader—my mother.  You’ve got to know that the process of writing takes much longer.  I’ve been told by some authors, that writing every day for an average of five hours a day garners a 90,000 word count in anywhere from a month to six weeks for a first draft.   A complete first draft takes me sixty to ninety days.  Second, third, fourth and fifth drafts can take an additional 90 days.  Because I produce my own work, the writing is done, but the process just begins.  After writing, the work goes to editing, back to writer (me) for corrections and enhancements, either back to editor or to production.  It is then the publisher (me) is working on distribution, cover, legalities, publicity and bumps in the road.  Many times, the publisher (me) and the artist (me) are at war about content, count and a number of creative differences that have to be crunched into numbers.  So yes, I do a lot of talking to myself, arguing with myself and reaching a compromise with myself in order to get the work to the public (you). 

So the next time you ask, why did it take so long, recall the quick and dirty and cut me some slack.  I promise it is worth the wait…..  Help My Best Friend Just Got Married, Can We Still Be Friends?

9 and counting…..

From The Bottom Up,

Toni

From Book To Thought and Back To Book

In 2006 I published my second novel through then Epiphany Publishing House, LLC now Epiphany Books.  For me, it started out as a conversation about a real life hot topic, platonic friendships.  As I explored the possibilities and probabilities of the subject, I found that opinions were strong and as diverse as the stars in our galaxy.  As recorded in Nothing Special…Just Friends?, I would bring the subject up at every event, party or gathering I attended.  Finally those divergent opinions helped me to complete my award winning novel.

After the book release, the book signings and cross country promotions, the conversation continued.  It continued between me and family, friends and strangers, often me using Nothing Special…Just Friends? as the framework.  While discussing the premise of the book during my travels—I often had to convince readers the book was worth their time and ten bucks—people would share their own personal stories of maneuvering platonic friendships.  Some yielded successful relationships on two sides of the three sided coin, others not so much.  However the talks were always interesting, engaging and sometimes eye-widening. 

My mind is like a steel trap.  I have a knack for recalling factoids, stories and situations.  I might not remember your name but share pieces of a story and I’ll at least recall you through that story. 

So fast forward three years, and I’m on the phone with my cousin Ametra.  What are we talking about?  The Book and the over-all nature of platonic friendships.  She shares some of her past experiences, I share mine and a usual three hour conversation ensues.  However, our talks are rarely just talks; a conclusion and/or solution has to come up somewhere.  As conclusions and woulda, shoulda, couldas surfaced, those vignettes from three years ago also re-surface.  

Ametra and I got off of the phone.  I learned a long time ago, rarely does one say anything to writer that isn’t seen again.  Three days later I had the first draft of Help! My Best Friend Just Got Married, Can We Still Be Friends? completed.  For the next ten days, you’ll get an inside look of how and why this book came into fruition.  You’ll get sneak peak views before the 8/25/12 release date and get a backstage view of some of my ups and downs.  You will also be the first to view the cover and win some great prizes along the way.  So, the journey begins….Thanks for taking it with me! The Countdown begins today.....10

From The Bottom Up,

Toni